It's About The Horse

ErinR76 · Member Joined: 12 Aug 2011 Posts: 504 Location: Austin TX

(appellativo is my other account name. I don't get email notifications with that one so I made a new one.)

Ok y'all I've been reading a series of books by Greg Baer about Real Love.

I was a bit skeptical at first but as I read, I realized that he's right. In his books he explains what typically happens in relationships, how people act and react, and how to break the frustrating cycles. Here's an excerpt from the book that hones in on Parenting:

"In school our children are taught a wide variety of subjects--trigonometry, world history, biology, and so on--and we take their instruction in these subjects seriously. They attend school for six to eight hours a day, five days a week, for nine months of the year. In most states, children are required by law to do that until they're sixteen or older,. We even make them take frequent exams to prove that they're grasping the material they're being taught.

"It's strange, don't you think, that we go to such great lengths to instruct our children in subjects that most of them will never use--trig for example---and yet we teach t hem nothing about the one subject--relationships--they will use every day? After our children leave school, how many of them will ever need to calculate the hypotenuse of a triangle? know the date of the signing of the magna carta? or the physiology of a cell membrane? Not many. But every one of them will become involved in relationships---every day of their lives. And yet we teach them virtually nothing about relationships. not in school, not at home, not anywhere.

"Our children are not taught what human beings need most. They don't understand how relationships work, and then we wonder why they become frustrated and angry. We wonder why they join gangs, why they cant keep a job, why the jails are full, why more than half of all marriages fail, why people shake their fists at one another on the road, why children are abused and neglected, why relationships seem to come and go like falling leaves, why the newspapers are filled with accounts of violence and war, and so on. There's no mystery in any of this. All these things are GUARANTEED to happen when we don't teach our children the basic principles of love and relationships." (end quote)

I can honestly say that now I fully understand that WE are responsible for all our children's horrible behavior. This book shows us how we caused (or at least perpetuated) it...their lying, their attacking, their running, their clinging, and their acting like victims. It tells us how to fix it. How to change OURSELVES so that we can bring out naturally the best in our children. How to give them what they need so that they can abandon all of the above behaviors and be happy and responsible for the rest of their lives.

I have seen some great changes in my relationship with my son after about two weeks of applying these principles. He is more loving and less whiny and angry. He is way more responsible and more cheerful.

This is honestly one of those books that the more people in the world read and apply, it can change the entire world. Its in the top three of my favorite books ever.

I haven't been able to find these books at discount. I've found one in the local library, but had to order most from the website. I can definitely say that they are well worth their price (which isn't any more than you'd expect to pay for a new book in a bookstore.)

Check out the 'your real love education' and click on daily coaching with greg archive' for a bunch of short audio clips of various situations you might be dealing with in your life and how to address them using the principles of real love.

http://www.reallove.com/
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A horse is NOT a large dog that thinks like a person.

ErinR76 · Member Joined: 12 Aug 2011 Posts: 504 Location: Austin TX

Hi guys. (Remember, I changed my username from appellativo with the avatar of my gray mare to this username with the pony avatar. But it's still me!!)

Nancy you there? Deb? What do you think of this? I wrote the guy and asked him how he came up with this stuff and here is what he wrote:

"I've been asked many times how Real Love began. How did I think of it? What books did I read? Who were my teachers?

"For forty years of my life I created success by relying on my intellectual and emotional skills. If I wanted "more," I just worked harder. And I had a great deal: all the money, power, success, admiration, and possessions I had ever wanted. But I was not happy--not deep down peaceful--and that became very discouraging. I used drugs. I was depressed and even suicidal.

"I looked for the origin of happiness everywhere I could think of. I went to counseling, group therapy, support groups, drug treatment centers, 12-step groups, seminars, and more. I went to church. I read the Bible and prayed. I talked to people.

"Nothing. I couldn't find a single soul I thought was truly happy, nor anyone who could describe how that might be achieved. So I gathered a group of friends together, and we experimented--with books, techniques, rituals, whatever. We threw out anything that didn't cause a real change in our hearts. It wasn't enough that something was interesting or entertaining. No, it had to really make a change in how we thought and felt.

"We finally realized that none of the conventional approaches worked, but after a year or so of meeting like this I recognized that the relationships of the men in the group had become a real treasure. jumping for joy.jpg We were becoming closer. We were happier. Why? We noticed that we experienced moments of real peace most often when we simply shared how we felt, how we thought, and who we really were with the other men. We were happier when we were truthful and felt accepted.

"I realized that the greatest purpose in life was to become genuinely happy, and if I didn't have that kind of happiness, I didn't know anything. I looked in the mirror and said, "You don't know anything. Nothing. IF you did, you'd be happy. Are you willing to learn?"

"So I decided to make a leap of faith. I just gave up my opinions and simply listened. I knew there had to be an answer, and I didn't know how to find it on my own, so I humbled myself--as much as a proud, foolish man can--and quieted my mind to a place where I could just listen. And the answers came. Concepts, stories, metaphors, and more came into my mind. I'm not talking about channeling, where voices speak or exact passages might appear. I'm saying that the frameworks of ideas and patterns became clear, and then it was my job to put them into sentences and paragraphs. I carried a notepad everywhere, writing down these ideas as I walked, sat, even rollerbladed.

"I first wrote a single page of ideas, and we implemented them in our group. We practiced intentionally telling the truth about ourselves, not certain of what would happen. It worked. I suggested a definition of Real Love. It made sense. I wrote several pages and the outline of a seminar that we shared with other men. More success, so we invited people from all over North America. It still amazes me that we had the courage to do all that.

"What was the source? What is the source to this day? You can call it what you want. I have no need to prescribe to anyone what their "higher power" or divine source might be. You can call it God, or Allah, or the Spirit, or the Universe. But it's very real, and now I write only when I have the feeling of that influence. If I don't, I stop writing. I know the truth of it because the principles work, and because in all these years I've never had to go back and change what I wrote when I was in that receptive mode.

"Real Love is simply true, universally so, and I'm grateful for the profound changes it has made in my life and in the lives of millions of others. And I'm grateful for the Source of these ideas and this power." --Greg Baer, from his blog:

https://reallovecoaching.net/blog...1/08/the_origin_of_real_love.html
_________________
A horse is NOT a large dog that thinks like a person.

jackspark · Member Joined: 10 Jan 2010 Posts: 4474 Location: Missouri

"So I decided to make a leap of faith. I just gave up my opinions and simply listened. I knew there had to be an answer, and I didn't know how to find it on my own, so I humbled myself--as much as a proud, foolish man can--and quieted my mind to a place where I could just listen. And the answers came. Concepts, stories, metaphors, and more came into my mind. I'm not talking about channeling, where voices speak or exact passages might appear. I'm saying that the frameworks of ideas and patterns became clear, and then it was my job to put them into sentences and paragraphs. I carried a notepad everywhere, writing down these ideas as I walked, sat, even rollerbladed.

This is kinda what happened to me Erin so it makes sense to me. I am definitely going to check out his work. Thanks, as usual, for giving me new directions

_________________
Nancy

Flying Monkey Trainer

A journey of a thousand miles must
begin with a single step. Lao Tzu

ErinR76 · Member Joined: 12 Aug 2011 Posts: 504 Location: Austin TX

Yay, you found this! Hope you're livin' the good life!
_________________
A horse is NOT a large dog that thinks like a person.

jackspark · Member Joined: 10 Jan 2010 Posts: 4474 Location: Missouri

I always read YOUR posts

_________________
Nancy

Flying Monkey Trainer

A journey of a thousand miles must
begin with a single step. Lao Tzu