When a horse gets lost

bit · When a horse gets lost

I can only guess what it feels like. Ever loose your mom in the store? That panic and huge surge of relief when you find her? I think Hawk has been lost.
Gunner came back just fine, no change, but he's been through some pretty tough stuff. He's good at going inside until it's over. Hawkie had never been to a trainer. Now the trainer is a Buck trained guy, so I figured it to be a good thing. Hawk came home angry with a cold eye, and did not want to be touched. He used to fight to be the one you played with. I could hardly get near him. He defined "hard to catch".
If he's let me, I'd do a little t touch. I stood as close as he would give me permission. I waited. Last night he finally let me stand next to him, but looking pretty skeptical. I apoligized. Told him I thought he would have a great start. I sent him there because it was such a great place, and I made a mistake. I was sorry. So sorry. He looked at me, and his eye changed. It got soft. He pressed his nose against my cheek and we stood there for the longest time. I thought, "I bet you feel like giving me a nip." I felt like I deserved it. He lowerd his head and gave me the tiniest nip on the arm. He's found me, again. He was lost. He was angry. I don't know how riding will go. I hope he's ok. How can you train a horse and not love them? How can you sacrafice their hearts for performance? He's educated, but at what price?

jackspark

I think sometimes it just becomes a business even though you started out with great intentions. Ya know, ya got to feed the family and pay the overhead so horses get stacked up and pushed through for the sake of the business. Vicious circle. You'll get him back, he loves you.

Peeperpuppy

Hang in there Bit, you'll get him back. I had it happen with one of mine. She really seemed fond of her trainer but in that last week of training she just got over done. I agree with Jackspark, sometimes trainers just get their plates too full & the joy of building up horses becomes the job of training or they see so much they miss little subtle details.

Mandy'sMarty

Deb, don't beat yourself up over this. Now you know. The important thing...the most important thing...maybe it's the only meaningful thing is that you have your relationship intact with Hawk. He found that again with you. The rest is just icing on the cake.

PasoBaby_CarolU

Deb, I had the same thing happen when I sent Buddy away last year. He's never been the same, even after doing tons of undemanding time and WHR with him. I think trust was such a big issue with this horse and I blew it by entrusting someone else. Good luck with Hawk. I hope he isn't as damaged as Buddy...but then Buddy was really damaged when he first came here.

thelmanelle

Deb,
I sent horses for training and now, for my own horses and self....I do not do that. I have seen too much. They must come to my property and train on my grounds or not at all. I know, it is hard, but I saw too much with Flint and I will never do it again. I am done, especially after the dressage trainer took my money and never road my horse while I was at a continuing education seminar and then sick for 3 weeks. I load up and leave. Horse and all. Then, I either renew the trust or like in Summer's case, I returned her to her previous owner. She is into PNH, so I knew she would treat her well.

I leave it at that.

bit

I think he's ok. He was pissed, not damaged. I think Kelsey's horse, Quinn started out like that, but his time with the trainer was much longer. He came out fighting, and I think he's never going to be the horse he would have been. I think that about myself some days. What could have been if things had been different, better, not so messed up. Hawk will be fine, although I don't see him inviting me to ride any time soon. If he does, I'm hopping on. I hope he does.

lizloveshorses

Deb, is Hawk still being sold to the endurance rider in Colorado? Or have you decided to keep him because of this. I'm sending you lots of hugs, I'm sorry that you two went through that, but he's brave. I think he'll come back out again.

thelmanelle

Last night, at the wedding with the Belles. the driver kept offering to help me make them do better?

I explained to him that they were doing exactly what I wanted..."Slow and steady". Which means if you have to rig they are still 'slow and easy'. We got the job done despite complications.

So I would say to you that your horse will come back to you.
Despite the complications.

Flint has trusted me. And I have made a few mistakes with him. Quite a few...yet, he trust me.

Hute

I've had a bit of that experience with Cricket and Beacon. I don't think either of them were happy with me that I let them go to someone new. The relationship wasn't quite the same after that. Beacon though is coming around - I think he's realizing that I have no intentions of abandoning him, unless I have no choice. I don't see enough of Cricket to really reconnect though - lives too far away to see regularly.

Clarissa

Mmm I have to say Bit that when I watched the video you put up of Hawkie I had a major cringe at about the 3 second mark I think it was! Then several other times too. My thinking was this trainer is being unfair to this horse who is trying his heart out. Hawkie was sore & tight in his back & legs from being ridden & tired from the whole ordeal but was given no quarter, in fact he got a swift boot in the shoulder for being slow at the beginning. Not good enough in my opinion. But I said nothing because you had obviously done your homework & felt confidence in the trainer.

As he relaxes back into home life & your routine he should come good but be careful he doesn’t get tight when you start doing the same exercises he had to do at the trainer’s. You should work carefully through those exercises & allow Hawkie to find his own way to getting them done right rather than push him or he may stay tight & get resistant.

ATM he has this tightness in muscle memory but with carefull & considerate work you will bring him out of that state.

Katharine

Deb,
Please do not beat yourself up about this. We all do the best we can. He has forgiven you already because he knows you love him and he loves you back. Try not to dwell on it for too long. Be in this moment, not that one.
Hugs to you,
Katharine

4theloveofjake

Same thing happened to Jake, he came back not looking any human in the eye for at least a week, his heart was hurt, his soul was lost. He looked sad and disinterested in humans. His trainer knows horses, she has had years of experience with all types and she rode him in all kinds of new situations and gave him a solid training experience but he was betrayed or at least felt betrayed by me, like I lied to him that I would always be there for him.

Luckily it only lasted a week, he's my follow me around big ole puppy dog again and better for it. The experiences he had with Amy changed him, made him better for me to ride.